Sexual intimacy in marriage can be complicated.

Many couples’ physical relationships are centered around one central question: What makes me feel good? Even couples who avoid self-centeredness often feel disappointed with their partner’s shortcomings. There are also physical changes, medical issues, and emotional challenges that interrupt our lives from time to time. As we get older, the realm of sex changes drastically within a marriage relationship.

Which can leave couples with a lot of questions.

We’ve got answers. On our Focus on the Family Broadcast “Answering Questions About Sex and Marriage,” I’m speaking with social researcher Shaunti Feldhahn and licensed counselor and certified sex therapist Dr. Michael Sytsma, who are sharing how to have a healthy sex life that embraces God’s good design for physical intimacy and blesses your marriage in physical and spiritual ways.

We discuss:

  • What it means to be “normal.” Ideas about “normal” should serve as conversation starters, not absolute standards. Most couples come at the topic of sex with differing assumptions than their spouse.
  • How to address underlying insecurities and fears. Fear and insecurity can negatively impact what happens in the bedroom. Positive communication can prepare couples for intimacy beforehand.
  • How to communicate well through intimacy. Each spouse has unique desires that present an opportunity for couples to be curious and learn from each other.
  • Loving the spouse you’re with. Couples must grieve what isn’t in order to accept what is and enjoy it.

If you and your spouse are struggling with physical intimacy and have questions, you are not alone. Millions of couples are dealing with similar issues, and your confusion is more common than you think. For answers, hear my conversation with Shaunti and Dr. Sytsma on our program “Answering Questions About Sex and Marriage.”

This program isn’t graphic, but it’s not suitable for younger children, so please use your discretion and occupy your kids elsewhere or listen later on your local radio station, online, on Apple Podcasts, via Google Podcasts, or take us with you on our free phone app.

Dr. Sytsma’s and Shaunti’s book is called Secrets of Sex and Marriage: 8 Surprises That Make All the Difference. I’d love to send you a copy for becoming a special partner with us through our monthly “Friends of Focus on the Family” program. It’s a small way of saying thank you for touching others with the love of Christ. You’ll also receive member-exclusive benefits. To make your pledge, or for more information, click here or call 1-800-A-FAMILY (232-6459).

And while you’re online, why not take a few moments to try our free Marriage Assessment online tool? It will help you quickly determine what’s working well in your relationship and identify areas where you may need some improvement.

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